(gasp)

Today's weigh-in: 272.6 (down a lot, maybe 33 pounds?)

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional or any kind of weight-loss, diet, or exercise expert. I'm simply succeeding at losing weight.

I haven't posted here in a long time. I've been hyper-focused on some things, which is good and bad, but something I realized is that blogging is good for me. There's healing in the sharing or some such bullshit, and maybe I can help some poor fatso inch closer to feeling human again.

So, yeah, the weight loss has been proceeding, and while the slope of the line hasn't been totally consistent, the average is there, as evidenced by my above number.

I've been surprised at times, honestly, that I've been able to stick with this. On the rare occasion that I cast a glance at the past, I see a bloody trail of half-assed starts to various initiatives, with only the occasional monument to a completed effort.

This isn't to say that I've been perfect, or even totally satisfied with my progress. I've had at least three occasions in which I've knowingly sabotaged myself, as well as a handful of times in which I accidentally made a bad decision, but in each case, I was able to immediately bounce back, get back on track, and not use that idiotic 'I'll get back to it on Monday' bullshit thought process.

Also, every time I haven't had satisfactory results, I've been able to pull up my numbers on MyFitnessPal and point out where I went wrong. I then adjust, and move forward.

I'm at the point now in which many people are actually noticing my weight loss, and that's a little awkward for me, especially since I can't see a difference. However, it is positive reinforcement, and I'm glad for that.

A lot of people have asked what I've been doing to become less disgustingly obese, so I'll reiterate it here, in easy-to-read bulletpoint form:

• MOST IMPORTANT: I track all of the food I take in
• 2nd MOST IMPORTANT: I hit 10,000 steps per day
• I eat less overall
• I have cranked my protein consumption way up
• I have reduced my carbs and sugar
• I don't eat like shit
• I constantly adjust my diet and exercise to more precisely fit my weight-loss goal

It's real simple. Protein builds muscle mass. Building muscle raises your metabolism. An increased metabolism burns fat faster.

Your body always burns carbs and sugars first. So, if you have a bagel for breakfast, then a sandwich for lunch, then pizza for dinner, and work out for a couple hours, congrats, moron, you're still fat.

However, if you have a protein shake for breakfast, then turkey and cheese (no bread, real cheese) for lunch, then a protein bar for a snack, then a bunch of chicken for breakfast, and then run/walk about three miles in less than an hour, congrats, you're now less disgustingly obese.

Some people like to go the zero carb route, and I understand that thought process, but I don't believe in extremes. I've reduced my carbs and sugars without reaching zero, and it's been working.

Avoiding extremes is, I believe, I a key part of refining one's body. I think a lot of people fail because they throw themselves into an extreme in terms of diet or exercise (or both), burn out in a short time, and then wallow on their couch with a whole pizza or a tub of ice cream, hating themselves for fully transforming into the failure they've always suspected they are. Don't be that person. Use your brain. You don't need to run a six-minute mile every day while surviving off celery sticks. Just get off your ass and walk while rethinking your diet. Start there, then refine as you go.

I'm still refining what I'm doing. My approach isn't static, it's dynamic. I pay very, very close attention to how my body responds to different food strategies and different workouts, and tweak as I go.

Last thing - remember that what you weigh is, ultimately, irrelevant. Weight is simply an easy guideline to follow for your overall health. Your body fat, blood pressure, body mass index, and actual fatness are more important. Your weight is simply a rough indicator, and should be treated as such.

So, if you're unhappy with your weight, quit fucking around, and do something about it. You're the only one who can make you less disgustingly obese.

Think about how much better the life you'll have as a muscular, sculpted bad-ass will be. Always remember that. Think about how much power you'll wield. It's enough to make me salivate in anticipation.

I'll be back next week.

-Blaine

You Don't Have to Be Fat to Be Sexy

This is sports-related ... more or less ...

Like a lot of extremely sexy men, I'm fairly overweight, and am tired of having to carry all this extra weight just to give the ladies more at which to look. For too long have middle-age men maintained a bulbous shape just so that women find us attractive.

It's extremely unhealthy, too. What a lot of guys don't realize is that being overweight for a sustained period can actually cause erectile dysfunction later in life, which we all know is even worse than a heart attack.

While it's true that being fat is an easy way to telegraph just how financially fit you are, it's just not worth it. Women need to learn to accept us for who we are, and shouldn't demand that we demonstrate our wealth by consuming a bag of Doritos for every meal. For too long have men suffered this lack of equality, and I, for one, am taking a stand.

Today

I'm at 306 pounds, and have two goals.

First, I want to get under 300 pounds. That's the short-term goal. I'm not sure how I'm breaking up my other short-term goals after that, and I'm not sweating it. Once I get under 300, then we'll figure it out from there.

Second, I want to get to 200 pounds and just see how things look at that point. That's the long-term goal. I may want to go down another 20 or so, but we'll see.

Diet

Doc put me on a high-protein diet that looks something like this:

Breakfast one serving of protein shake (Muscle Milk)

10AM protein bar

Lunch protein-rich lunch

afternoon protein bar

Dinner whatever (reasonable portion)

evening snack (if needed) protein shake

I've modified it a bit as I've seen necessary, and so far, things are shaking out as follows:

Breakfast Muscle Milk Light

Lunch chicken breast + either BBQ sauce or teriyaki sauce + protein bar

3PM Pure Protein bar

Dinner one serving of whatever

8PM Muscle Milk

That seems to be working so far.

Where it's going to be tough, and where my self-control has historically eroded is weekend nights. I haven't consumed alcohol in a year and half, haven't smoked for two months, so food is kinda what I got left in the 'abuse for pleasure' department, and it's gotta go. Sorry, ladies.

That being said, I was tinkering with the idea of just hopping on the treadmill and running myself dead every time I started having a craving like that, but I don't want to turn exercise into a punishment. We'll see.

Exercise

What I've been doing so far is running through an episode of Around the Horn each day. I've been refining it and refining it, and what I've found is working well is the following.

Around the Horn is a sports talk show that's broken into topics. They talk about each topic for a few minutes, then move onto the next, and they do this for a half-hour. I'll do the lead-up to the show at 2.5MPH to get warmed up, then kick it up to 4MPH at the beginning of each topic, then hold that for as long as I feel like, at which point I drop to 3MPH. Then, when the next topic starts, I kick it back up to 4MPH. At each ad, I sprint at 6MPH until the show comes back, at which point I resume the intervals. Then, at the final 'Showdown' segment, I ramp down to 2.5MPH, and then I'll walking at least through the end of the show. Lately, I've kept going for a bit afterward.

Also ...

The trophy wife and I are looking into picking up tennis again. I played the hell out of tennis as a youth and always really enjoyed it. It also seems like an ideal 'couples' exercise. I think we'll try it out this weekend and see how we like it.

I was having a great ride on my bike the other day, finally getting comfortable doing an uphill, when the goddam fucking cocksucking bitch whore fucking chain came off. I have no idea how to fix it, but it can't be that hard, but I was still mad as hell about it. I love the idea of mountain biking and want to get going with it as soon as possible.

I haven't had a real cigarette in about two months and I can breathe again. These e-cigarettes are the best thing ever for people that just can't quit. Being able to breathe again has been the biggest change in me being able to exercise again.

What about you? Have you had to give up fatness? Were you successful? Were you not? Either way, share your story!

Thanks!

-Blaine

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