(gasp)

Today's weigh-in: 272.6 (down a lot, maybe 33 pounds?)

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional or any kind of weight-loss, diet, or exercise expert. I'm simply succeeding at losing weight.

I haven't posted here in a long time. I've been hyper-focused on some things, which is good and bad, but something I realized is that blogging is good for me. There's healing in the sharing or some such bullshit, and maybe I can help some poor fatso inch closer to feeling human again.

So, yeah, the weight loss has been proceeding, and while the slope of the line hasn't been totally consistent, the average is there, as evidenced by my above number.

I've been surprised at times, honestly, that I've been able to stick with this. On the rare occasion that I cast a glance at the past, I see a bloody trail of half-assed starts to various initiatives, with only the occasional monument to a completed effort.

This isn't to say that I've been perfect, or even totally satisfied with my progress. I've had at least three occasions in which I've knowingly sabotaged myself, as well as a handful of times in which I accidentally made a bad decision, but in each case, I was able to immediately bounce back, get back on track, and not use that idiotic 'I'll get back to it on Monday' bullshit thought process.

Also, every time I haven't had satisfactory results, I've been able to pull up my numbers on MyFitnessPal and point out where I went wrong. I then adjust, and move forward.

I'm at the point now in which many people are actually noticing my weight loss, and that's a little awkward for me, especially since I can't see a difference. However, it is positive reinforcement, and I'm glad for that.

A lot of people have asked what I've been doing to become less disgustingly obese, so I'll reiterate it here, in easy-to-read bulletpoint form:

• MOST IMPORTANT: I track all of the food I take in
• 2nd MOST IMPORTANT: I hit 10,000 steps per day
• I eat less overall
• I have cranked my protein consumption way up
• I have reduced my carbs and sugar
• I don't eat like shit
• I constantly adjust my diet and exercise to more precisely fit my weight-loss goal

It's real simple. Protein builds muscle mass. Building muscle raises your metabolism. An increased metabolism burns fat faster.

Your body always burns carbs and sugars first. So, if you have a bagel for breakfast, then a sandwich for lunch, then pizza for dinner, and work out for a couple hours, congrats, moron, you're still fat.

However, if you have a protein shake for breakfast, then turkey and cheese (no bread, real cheese) for lunch, then a protein bar for a snack, then a bunch of chicken for breakfast, and then run/walk about three miles in less than an hour, congrats, you're now less disgustingly obese.

Some people like to go the zero carb route, and I understand that thought process, but I don't believe in extremes. I've reduced my carbs and sugars without reaching zero, and it's been working.

Avoiding extremes is, I believe, I a key part of refining one's body. I think a lot of people fail because they throw themselves into an extreme in terms of diet or exercise (or both), burn out in a short time, and then wallow on their couch with a whole pizza or a tub of ice cream, hating themselves for fully transforming into the failure they've always suspected they are. Don't be that person. Use your brain. You don't need to run a six-minute mile every day while surviving off celery sticks. Just get off your ass and walk while rethinking your diet. Start there, then refine as you go.

I'm still refining what I'm doing. My approach isn't static, it's dynamic. I pay very, very close attention to how my body responds to different food strategies and different workouts, and tweak as I go.

Last thing - remember that what you weigh is, ultimately, irrelevant. Weight is simply an easy guideline to follow for your overall health. Your body fat, blood pressure, body mass index, and actual fatness are more important. Your weight is simply a rough indicator, and should be treated as such.

So, if you're unhappy with your weight, quit fucking around, and do something about it. You're the only one who can make you less disgustingly obese.

Think about how much better the life you'll have as a muscular, sculpted bad-ass will be. Always remember that. Think about how much power you'll wield. It's enough to make me salivate in anticipation.

I'll be back next week.

-Blaine

Keep Ya Head Up: Divorce Yourself From the Fatties

Today's weigh-in: 297.8 (2.6 pounds down from last week)

The Cardinals
It's amazing to watch very smart sports writers opine that we're going to see how much the Cardinals regret not getting Oswalt signed. I wasn't aware that our starting rotation was in need of another starter. Two bad starts for Lance Lynn does not a reasonable sample size make. Chill the fuck out, guys. Where we were struggling was hitting and bullpen, and both of those performed tremendously over the weekend, with Jon Jay and Matt Carpenter back, even after Lance Lynn imploded yesterday

The Heat
I remember watching sports pundits the nation over at mid-season cry out for everything from breaking up the Big Three to firing Scott Spoelstra. Yeah. I guess that kind of knee-jerk idiocy gets clicks?

Becoming Less Fat
It seems like each week with the weight loss crusade, something new is imparted to me, and I'm able to refine this process better and better.

The big thing this week was dealing with a setback. From Tuesday to Thursday, I put a pound back on, and I wanted to put someone's head in a fucking vice. In the course of channeling my pain and anger, and drawing on the power of the Dark Side, a little voice cried out and insisted that instead of being all sulky and having a typical 'fattie' reaction (self-pity, 'this is never going to work,' giving up, all that shit), that I stop and analyze where I went wrong.

Wednesdays, I typically work from home, which means I'm moving around a lot less. I also typically eat out for lunch, and it's usually Subway. I ran out of time after work and didn't run. I experimented with making a homemade pizza with my son, and while I was under my caloric allotment for the day, I cut it very close.

None of those on their own would've done me in, but that perfect storm of bullshit probably combined into a Voltron of Fat and slapped a pound back on me.

But who knows? All I can do is learn from it and move on. I came back the next day and was down .8 pounds.

All of that led me to my next point, which is setting oneself up for success. I ate out a lot last week, which is anathema to consistent weight loss. I'm fat because I love food, and even more so because I love cramming it in my mouth. Going out to eat is an exercise in restraint, but I armed myself, every time, with my Windows Phone and used the MyFitnessPal application to research everything on the menu that I was considering, and managed to (mostly) behave myself over the weekend. It's tough, though, and I really wish we'd not eaten out as much as we did. If you're a junkie for fatty foods, putting yourself at fucking Cracker Barrel is not a good idea. Sure, I didn't succumb to temptation, despite the fact that everyone was pressuring me to eat like shit, but nor did it give me a real satisfying meal. Restaurants aren't there to help you lose weight, they're there to make as much money as possible, no matter what it does to your health.

The best way to not eat like shit and still not hate what you're eating is to make it your damn self. Odds are that you're fat because you're lazy, and if you want to lose the weight and keep it off, you gotta change things up in your life, and that means getting used to actually putting effort into some things.

But I digress ...

... my point here is that I bounced back. I didn't overreact and punish myself, nor did I throw in the towel, nor did I say, 'Well, I'll just go back on my diet on Monday.' All that kinda shit is for fatties, and I'm not one of them anymore. I got right back on the horse, and may have pushed it a little on the treadmill that night, but I was mad as hell.

The best part is that I'm now equipped with more experience and knowledge that's going to help me this week. I'm going to apply it, and I'm looking forward to adding more to my workouts. One of my long-term goals is to be at a fitness level equivalent to that of an Army Ranger. I've got family that's been in the Ranger program, and I've always looked up to them, so it seems like a fun long-term challenge. I figured this week that I might bench-mark where I am now relative to the fitness requirements, and once a week, re-rest and chart my progress until I'm there. I don't expect that I'll be anywhere near the requirements this week, but a year from now? Who knows? It seems like something that's worthwhile. And it'll come in handy when the revolution comes.

One last thing. Going to Cracker Barrel was good for one thing. It was interesting to watch the grossly obese folks, and all that little things they did to keep reinforcing their obesity. If you're trying to drop weight, go to a restaurant, pick a group of fat people and watch them all night. Try to pick out everything they're doing to reinforce their fatness, and you may identify some things that you still do that are holding you back.

One really last thing. I'm below 300, which was my first goal. Next up is getting below 290. I haven't been 280-something in YEARS, and I'm really pumped to get there. Being 280-something puts me within 100 pounds of my long-term goal weight, which, yeah, probably sounds insane to you, but for me it's a big deal (literally!)

So, how goes your weight loss? Anything to add here?

Anyway, thanks for reading!

-Blaine
Buy my book!

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Less Fat Than Last Week

Weighed in today at 300.4 pounds, which means I dropped 5.6 in the last week.

Yeah, that's a crazy amount of weight to drop in the first week, but I've got two things for you. 1) if you're fat, and you suddenly switch to a good diet and exercise, you drop a shitload of weight real fast for the first 20 or so pounds, then you have to start grinding it out like all the normies. 2) if you're fat and you don't drop that first weight real fast, you're still fat and you're doing it wrong.

This protein-heavy and low-carb diet is working wonders. I'm never starving, and I can eat a reasonable amount of meat. That works for me. I also cut out a lot of soda. Even diet soda will bring you down, given that all that sodium that's packed in adds up.

What's been surprising is that a lot of skinny folks have been like, 'Yes, great job, keep it going!' while most of the fat folks have either immediately started to explain to me why my approach wouldn't work for them or some other nonsense. I'm content with your failure if you're content with it.

Look, people, here's the secret. I'm not doing a crash diet, I'm eating 4-5 times a day, I'm not spending hours in the gym, I've simply adjusted my existing life to a healthier one. I'm eating lots of protein, avoiding carbs, getting on the treadmill M-F for a half hour or so, and not sabotaging myself by making exceptions.

The last part of it, too, is that I've accepted that I'm the only one who's going to lose this weight. I can't count on anyone but me to make this happen. People everywhere, everyday unintentionally stand in the way of my weight loss, and simply circumventing them has been a huge step for me. I am accountable for this, and only me.

Oh, and planning. That was a big lesson last week. I went to Busch Stadium with my son and his baseball team that I'm coaching to walk on the field before the game. I snagged some stadium nachos while I was there, then, when I went to enter them into my food diary, and I saw that they were between 700-1100 calories, I was shocked. I should've planned.

Therefore, when my wife and I made our monthly sojourn to her hometown in northern Illinois, I planned everything. Before I ate anything, I looked it up online, compared it with my food diary to see if it was in my budget for calories, carbs, sugar, etc, and only put it in my mouth if I could 'afford' it. If we were hitting a fast food joint, I pulled into the parking lot, pulled out my Windows Phone or iPad, and looked at their menu, and carefully planned each piece. THIS HELPS TREMENDOUSLY.

It seems like a lot of folks psych themselves out of weight loss by building into this HUGE, all-encompassing thing, but it's really not that big a deal. Just chill the fuck out, tweak your life a bit, and make it happen.

The most annoying part is that people are constantly shoving food at each other. Not only that, but a lot of folks just won't let up when I say 'no.' There were a few times this weekend in which I damn near went 'Hulk smash' on some folks because they wouldn't stop trying to ram pie down my gullet.

On top of that, I insist that I eat at the same times every day. That helps tremendously with regulating my food intake, and makes life easy to manage. What that means, then, is that I don't give a fuck what time your party is, or what time you're serving food. I'm eating 'x food' at 'x time,' and I don't care what that means for you. Period. Again, I'm the only one who's going to lose this weight, and I'm not going to let anything stand in my way. Don't take it personally, and either be supportive or shut the hell up.

I've gotta be selfish and inflexible in this process, but you'll be glad I took that approach when you can't stop staring at me and wonder what it would be like to make sex at me.

Last thing - the applications I've been using have been tremendously helpful. I've been using a combination of three, and this may get pared down as things move along.

MyFitnessPal - I use the Windows Phone app + the iPad app + the web application, and this has been tremendous. Thank you very much, Chris, for the recommendation on this. This is where I plug in all my food and keep track of my daily intake. I can use this to make sure my carbs and sugar are low, while my proteins are through the roof, and that my calories hit their target. It has a huge, ever-growing food database, to which you can add whenever you want, plus the phone application lets you scan in barcodes, which rocks. Friend me on here and you can see what a bad-ass, manageable diet looks like (though I did have to improvise while traveling this past weekend, but I was still well within my plan.)

RunKeeper - I plug all my runs in here, and they auto-feed into Fitocracy, which I'll get to in a moment. I use this to calculate the caloric burn and auto-spam to Facebook and Twitter that I'm better and more active than the other fatties. There is not yet a Windows Phone application, which is disappointing. I manually feed the stats from my treadmill into this for now, or if I'm forced to run outside, I'll use RunningMate on the Windows Phone for its GPS tracking.

Fitocracy - This is where everything all kinda ties together. It makes fitness into a game, and I love it. It automatically picks up my RunKeeper stats, I feed my daily weigh-ins into it, and it's very cool. The only problem is they still don't have a category for sex.

I also use 'Virgin Health Miles' at work, and that's been very, very helpful. It's what I use to weigh in and track my steps every day.

Please 'friend' me on any of these sites if you want. There's no reason that you can't enjoy watching me succeed.

-Blaine
Buy my book!